red mist

about me

...

it's certainly a hard labour to explain who a person is, to get the other people to understand her or him... and it's even harder if she or he has to talk about herself or himself... (oh, why isn't there a neutral pronoun for male and female beings and not things? i'll use 'it' from now on, although maybe this isn't the smartest solution). anyway, the view that one has about itself is often far from truth, the perception is distorted by lots of social and mental constrictions that make everything chaotic...
i don't mean that realizing what is the nature of the others is easier... as it usually brings about self-understanding, too...
ok, i'm falling off topic... well, who am i? a 17-year-old human being who is deeply in love... with life, although i sometimes (not too rarely, i suppose) complain about our common destiny and situation... with everyone who loves me... and above all with friends, who are one of the few meanings of life i've found so far... and maybe with one of them in particular, but i'm sure i'll write something about her sooner or later... a flare of light in a the dark clouds of existence... forse ti amo.

my everyday life is unfortunately centered around school, which sucks almost all my vital energy during nine months a year... the positive thing about it is that i can find most of my friends there, although this statement is going to get falser and falser as time passes by... while in summer absolute nothingness makes me feel empty (void?) and i am lonely and lost even if i know that some people always dedicate a thought to me as i do towards them... let's say that i always think about someone... and maybe this is the only way not to go crazy when i'm alone.

besides that, my main interest is music - i play the piano (i should give the fifth year exam, don't know when i'll make this final decision...). i love bach and schubert for now, but i know there are fantastic pieces by scriabin, liszt, chopin and lots of others, too. i am trying to learn (by myself) to play the keyboard the metal way, with lead solos and so on... i mainly listen to power and prog metal bands (with a predilection for finnish ones), such as stratovarius, sonata arctica, the johansson brothers (they are absolutely great), helloween, blind guardian, nightwish (only a bit, i really hate mock concerts...), rhapsody, vision divine... sometimes i can stand punk (green day - very easy to listen to, los fastidios - for political reasons =D ) and ska too.
what else can i say...? i like arts, if i hadn't attended a scientific school i would surely have chosen something artistic... but i fear that unfortunately i won't be improving myself in painting and drawing anytime soon.
i'm also fond of information technology... with a focus on strange (and possibly exotic) hardware and open source software. my os of choice is netbsd, a multi-platform system targeting portability and coding elegance. i use it both on an i386 pc and a sun ultra5 workstation. i'm running familiar linux on one of my two pda's, while i'm trying to install it on the other. my production os now mac os x (on a macbook), as it's been difficult to install netbsd on the laptop up to now.